words to live by

July 21, 2011

i love rob brezsny’s astrology. whether or not you pay attention to astrology it’s some pretty great advice.

Fill in the blanks, Taurus. Don’t let the blanks remain vacant and barren any longer. Don’t allow them to keep screaming at you with their accusatory silence. Just fill in the freaking blanks with whatever you’ve got to fill them with — with your best guesses, with borrowed mojo, with any miscellaneous material you have at hand. I realize you may be tempted to wait around for a supposedly more ideal moment. But I’m here to tell you that this is as ideal as it gets. So please express the hell out of yourself in the empty spaces, my dear; create yourself anew in the void — however improvisational or inexact it might feel.

have a wonderful weekend

July 15, 2011

traininsun

i took this photo with my iphone last spring while riding the coast starlight express up the california coast. it was my first train ride since moving back from the uk.

whatever you’re doing this weekend i hope it’s fun. and i hope you’re staying away from the crazy la traffic. if i never hear the word “carmageddon” again it will be too soon.

see you monday!

use your whole heart, it’s good for you

July 12, 2011


elizabeth wrote this post awhile ago and this phrase has been running through my head since i read it.

this year i’ve really be trying to do things that are good for me: eating healthier, exercising more, being tidier, reading my scriptures more. you get the idea. i feel like i’ve been pretty successful at those things and that makes me happy.

but i don’t feel like i’ve been using my whole heart. i hold back a huge chunk. it’s not something i’m proud of and i’m not sure how to change it. when i was in high school my favorite teacher and mentor would often remind me that i had a tendency to hold back. his motto was “you never lose by trying, you only lose by holding back.” i knew he was right but i didn’t know what to do about it.

in her post elizabeth mentions this ted talk. i’ve listened to it twice now and i’m sure i’ll listen to it again. she talks about the necessity of being vulnerable and the willingness to do things where there are no guarantees and the importance of letting go of who you think you should be in order to be who you are. that really resonated with me. she talks about the power that comes from living whole-heartedly. it’s a great talk.

holding back has a lot to do with fear. if i allow myself to be vulnerable then people might not like me or might judge me or the things i’ve been through. but if i don’t let them see my whole self/heart and they don’t like me well, it’s okay, because they don’t really know me. you see, it’s not a pretty cycle.

i’m not even really sure what i’m trying to say. i think i’ve just reached a point in my life where i’m realizing that if i want my life to progress the way i want it to i need to use my whole heart and stop being afraid or ashamed or whatever it is that’s standing in my way. that said there are some things i need to do. i’ve referred to them as “scary things” before but now they are just necessary things so that i can live my life with my whole heart. it’s not something i’m looking forward to. that sounds really weird and cryptic but basically i just need to deal with some things and let them go. it terrifies me but i know it will be good for me and for the people around me. i want to be the best version of me. that version is a whole-hearted person.

sorry if this post is a little weird. it’s been on my mind a lot lately so i thought i’d share it with you. maybe i’m not alone in my fear of being vulnerable or maybe i am and i can learn from all of you wonderful souls.

also i cannot express how much i enjoy elizabeth’s blog. i love the way she embraces and loves her life and her family and finds beauty in the world. if you haven’t visited her blog then you’re missing out on something beautiful.

and how great is that photo by eva? i love it.

polaroid week

July 11, 2011

river

i’ve really missed taking photos with something besides my iphone. since “roid week” started today last night i grabbed these two and headed out for a long walk. it felt so good. the next time i get stressed will someone please remind me to take a little time to do what makes me happy? kneeling on the grass by the river with harlow by my side i was happy just to be still and quiet for a minute and hold this one precious film in my hand and watch its magic.

you should check out all of the entries here. there’s lots of magic going on this week.

less is more… right?

July 2, 2011


i’ve been talking about moving for way too long and for one reason or another i’m still here. but that is a whole different post.

anyway, as i’ve started going through my stuff i’ve become overwhelmed about the amount of “stuff” i have. i desperately want to downsize.

i want my possesions to be few and meaningful.

i know i should toss the old hoodie that used to belong to a certain boy. i know i probably don’t need to keep all of my old birthday cards or all of my train tickets from when i moved to wales. i know there are certain items of clothing or shoes that haven’t been worn in months that can go. but i need help. that sounds crazy but when i get into “downsizing” mode i sort of get that deer-in-the-headlights look and panic. i also fear getting rid of too much and then replacing it all. not good.

so how do you decide what to keep and what to toss? do you have a system?

please help.

love,

the deer in the headlights

photo by elaine h

how to talk to little girls (and big ones too)

July 1, 2011

i loved this article in the huffington post.

when i read it i thought of my friends mom. i remember writing in my journal once that she gave the “weird compliments” because they were different than “your hair looks so cute” or “i love your shoes” (don’t get me wrong, those are nice to hear too) but she’d always say things like, “i love the way you’re always so willing to help” or “i love that you always smile and make eye contact when you talk to people” but they did make me feel good. and i remember them.

once in high school drew told said, “you’re so nice vanessa. one day people will write songs about you.”

best compliment ever.

what’s the best compliment you’ve received that wasn’t about something physical/superficial?

note:. i didn’t mean to sound all braggy… no one’s writing songs about me ;)

gorgeous photo by matt aka futureancient

anthropologie playlist, vol. 4

June 24, 2011

Engery by the apples in stereo
get up by r.e.m.
been no good by nini kinert
thinking of you by tracy chapman
safe at home by starsailor
living so well by the crayon fields
in my arms by plumb
never go too far by oh darling
mexico by the holidays
secret by the pierces

to celebrate me only having to work two days this week here is another anthropologie playlist. enjoy!

Just FYI, I purchased all of things songs/albums on iTunes and am happy to share them with you. if you like them please consider doing the same. And please don’t picture me wandering around Anthro with my phone schazam-ing songs. k, thanks.