i feel like a lot of what i see on facebook and twitter is pretty awful lately. maybe i’m being super sensitive but the final straw was the man being shamed for dancing. it was too much.
so here are some wonderful things that have happened:
dave grohl stopped the show to fulfill a fan’s request.
i recently read that actor steve buscemi rejoined his old engine company to help search for survivors after 9/11.
maroon 5 lies down on the ground to help a 10 year old boy with downs syndrome.
an entire town secretly learned sign language to surprise a deaf neighbor (and yes this was for a samsung campaign but the effort and result were beautiful.)
this little piglet.
this exhibit allows blind people to touch the mona lisa.
a panda that needs a hug before he will get down from his tree.
and lastly, dancing man is being flown to la to dance his heart out.
thank you internet.
i’m in the process of looking for a job and i the house i am renting is being sold. ugh. i don’t necessarily want to leave utah but i’m not set on staying either. california has been calling my name and also england. who knows. job first, though.
anyway here are some things i’ve been loving lately:
diptique’s vanille candle. it’s a warm vanilla scent and even when it’s not lit i can still smell it faintly.
my memory foam gel pillow… i don’t really know what it’s called but it’s wonderful.
making extra spicy vegetarian curry with roasted vegetables.
youtube makeup tutorials (i had no idea these existed??)
naps with harlow because sleeeep.
power watching friends on netflix of course.
re-reading the great divorce… one of my most loved c.s. lewis books.
what have you been loving lately?
i’m sitting in my dad’s hospital room for the last few days.
the prognosis is not good. i’ve been sitting here listening to his labored breathing, machines beeping, nurses bustling around, the woman next door screaming for her damned phone… and just waiting. waiting for him to open his eyes, waiting for another bit of information, waiting for another update. it sucks. he looks small and weak. his hands are swollen and his skin feels cold.
i know if i let myself think about it too much i’m going to lose it. when i got here this morning i was overwhelmed with emotion but i knew if i let myself cry there’d be no stopping me. i don’t know what is going to happen. the waiting and not knowing is hard.
but i’m choosing hope.
i am just dealing with each moment and each hour as they come. right now he’s alive and i’m grateful for that. i’m grateful for the machines, tubes and medicines that are keeping him here while he fights. i’m grateful for the nurses, doctors, attendants, janitors and everyone here.
for the last several years i’ve been the only one in my family who has had any contact with my dad. i won’t go into all of that drama but it’s hurt me and i know it’s hurt him to be shut out by the family he loves. this might sound dumb but it’s nice to have all of these doctors and nurses on his side. i’m not alone in my concern for him anymore. there are other people helping him and hoping for the best for him. and i’m so grateful for that.
that quote always makes me think of my dad and how hard he’s worked and how much he’s sacrificed for his family. he’s not perfect buy he tries and no matter what he’s never stopped trying. i love my dad so much. if you are so inclined please keep him in your thoughts and prayers.
i’ve also set up this page to help cover the cost of his treatment: http://www.gofund.me/_helpmydad
dear general conference,
i’m so excited to spend two days with you
dear pumpkin flavored everything,
i wish i liked you
dear honeycrisp apples,
i love you
thank you for gilmore girls
dear dr’s appointments,
i do not love you
you’re so cozy and warm and comforting
thank you for being my dog
i read this beautiful article in lonny magazine
and keep going back to it so i thought i’d share it here.
joseph mul’s farm has been in his family for five generations. the farm located in the south of france, 4 miles from grasse near the côte d’azur. this beautiful farm is where the may roses (rosa centifolia) that go into every bottle of chanel no. 5 are grown. each may, for approximately three weeks, the farm harvests approximately thirty-five to forty tons of may roses. each rose is processed within an hour and twenty minutes of being picked. isn’t that incredible?
each bottle of perfum has twelve may roses and one thousand jasmine flowers. legend has it the the perfume’s name comes from the fifth of six batches originally created for chanel. five was also her favorite number. if you head over to the original article on lonny
there’s a beautiful video about the making of the perfume. according to the article a bottle of chanel no. 5 sells every thirty seconds.
i’d love to visit this farm one day… and maybe leave with pockets full of roses.
if i had to choose one recipe to make for the rest of my life it would be this recipe from how sweet eats. it’s that good.
i came across it on pinterest
(where else?) and it had so many of my favorite ingredients: cilantro, lime, coconut milk, and ginger. and quinoa since i’m always looking for quinoa recipes that have a lot of flavor. also, i leave out the chicken because i’m trying (emphasis on trying) to eleminate aminal products from my diet. but also buying and cooking meat stresses me out. so instead i just double the veggies and add extra peanuts. it’s delicious.
also i learned an amazing secret for light, fluffy, non-mushy quinoa: when you add water to your pot of quinoa add boiling water. it makes all the difference – no more quinoa mush. you’ll see.
now i’m hungry.
i was just reading stephanie’s posts on their family themes and this quote came to mind.
there’s no going back. no matter how hard i pray and cry and wish.
all that’s left is to move forward.
and i’m trying. sometimes it’s fearfully, ungratefully, haltingly, stubbornly, slowly, and painfully but “even those who limp go not backwards.” (gibran)
getting a little off topic, but not really… have you read the great divorce by cs lewis? it’s one of my favorite books. in the book the inhabitants of hell get to visit heaven and, if they choose, can stay there. there’s nothing in the world stopping them. but most of them don’t. they choose to go back to hell. the ghosts talk of their lives and sorrows and injustices and at one point in the book the author is told “heaven, once attained, will work backwards and turn even that agony into a glory.”
i think that’s true. it’s a tall order but i truly believe it’s possible. whatever the details, the whole can still be beautiful.
do you have family or personal mottos?
i don’t know the source
for this image… help?
i don’t know why in my mind self care has a negative connotation. maybe because i associate it with other self words like self pity, self-centered and selfish.
when i went into the rape crisis center the woman there cheerfully chirped, “take care of yourself. have a bubble bath… get a pedicure!” and i wanted to hit her. hard. in the face. with a chair. (to be fair i’m sure she said more than that but i don’t remember.) i was scared and angry and my brain latched on to what seemed the most ludicrous statement and i vowed to never get a pedicure or take a bubble bath again. after the miscarriage i was told basically the same thing. “just relax. try taking a bubble bath.” by that point my head was in such an awful, messed up place that the last thing i wanted was anything to do with myself. i wanted away from my self, out of my body, far away from this life.
the other day when i was at a very low point i shared some of the feelings i had about myself… and they weren’t the great. it was pointed out that if i said the things i say to myself to another person i’d be a bully and a kind of a jerk. ugh.
i feel like i see and hear the term self care all over the place lately. i’m working on finding the balance between self pity and self care.
“Self care refers to actions and attitudes which contribute to the maintenance of well-being and personal health and promote human development.”
i guess what i’m finally realizing is that i am still here. that life is stubborn. it goes on. it’s going to go on. it goes on whether i’m curled up on my bed hiding out or trying to put the pieces of my life back together and keeping enjoying life. if it’s going on go on it may as well be enjoyable. it’s worth trying, right?
things to start:
buy myself fresh flowers
prepare little meals, even if it’s just for me
wear a bright lipstick
keep my desk tidy so it’s a place i want to be
download some new music turn it up
be diligent with my personal prayer and scripture study
spend time with friends
use exercise to work out some of the nervous tension
get my eyebrows done every once and awhile
stop using the word fine – good or bad, be authentic
start a photo challenge: nature/self portrait/ whatever
go to the temple
take deep breaths
things to change:
take my prescriptions without calling myself weak
cry when i need to without calling myself a baby
say no when i’m overwhelmed without calling myself selfish
reach out when i need to without calling myself pathetic
search for a new job without calling myself a loser
spend time with people i love without questioning my worth
forgive myself when i slip without beating myself up
“Therefore, though ours is a time of conflict, quietly caring for the ‘life of the soul’ is still what matters most.” – Neal A Maxwell
what are some ways you care for yourself? how do you fight back against your own inner bully?
beautiful image by olga bennett
a little playlist from the archives. my old blog is lost somewhere in cyberspace. maybe that’s okay. but since sometimes tuesdays are just as blech as mondays here’s one of my favorite playlists.
it’s a summery playlist. i’m hanging onto summer as long as possible.
i purchased all of the songs i share so if you like the artist i encourage you to do the same. happy tuesday!
when i came across these photos of viana do castelo, a city in the northern part of portugal, my heart skipped a beat. everything about it seemed to ooze charm.
this city reminds me a little bit of santa barbara with the mountains on one side and the sea on the other. after researching a bit more viana do castelo is definitely on my travel list. i’ll be dreaming of portugal when it starts snowing here.
what cities or countries are you dying to visit?
you can see more of this beautiful city over on a place for twiggs. all photos belong to claudia casal.