raw beauty

my friend pia posted on instagram that she would be posting a an untouched/un-photoshopped/un-cropped filtered photo of herself as part of the raw beauty talks movement. and my first thought was “of course she can do that, she’s gorgeous.”

but then this morning i read her post and read that she believes she’s ugly. what? i’ve read pia’s blog for years, followed her on instagram, and purchased her books. believe me when i tell you there is nothing ugly about her. everything is does is lovely and full of magic and tenderness.

anyway late last night as i was getting ready for bed i decided to snap one photo of myself and vowed that no matter what it looked like i’d post it on my blog.

i rarely post photos of myself and when i do i crop and filter like nobody’s buisness… and they still look, well, you’ve seen them. the anticipation of posting a “raw” photo made me feel a little scared and extremely vulnerable. when i look at my own face i see all of the flaws and imperfections that i think most woman see in themselves. but if i spend too long in front of the mirror i start looking for answers to questions that haunt me. what was it about my face that said “weak” or “easy target” or “loser” or “worthless” or whatever it was that made those men choose me. the whole “selfie” thing has made try to look past my own inner terrorist and try to see something worthwhile. so when i do post a photo of myself, even if it’s filtered to death, it’s because for a second i saw something of my old self. or maybe a new self that i liked. that probably sounds vain and however you feel about selfies, mine are just for me.

so here’s the photo. no make up, no contacts, hair a mess, a lovely new spot on my cheek:

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “raw beauty

  1. Oh Vanessa, you are BEAUTIFUL! I'm so glad you did it, it's wonderful to see you 'straight up', and to know we are vulnerable together. Thank you for sharing, we have gained strength and courage from this experience. Pia X

i'd love to hear from you

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s